Science Ladies and Friends
by Axletia Rosonetis
Summary: Post BW/W2 / post-XY. Scientists have hard work to do, but they can also have relaxing times as they live and work together. Light, somewhat connected oneshots. Scientificshipping. (Mature for later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

_return_

 _(Original notes: - Hc Fennel's first name as Edith because back in the day didn't know whether Fennel was a first or last name._

 _\- The hc that...Fennel's a major mecha fan. Robots, lasers, the whole nine yards, and she loves the shit out of Astro Boy. Unfortunately, she often can't stomach robots late at night and that unintentionally gives her nightmares, so it's up to Juniper to put a childblock on all the electronics after a certain hour whenever they're together. (Of course being a genius scientist and all, Fennel often cracks the codes when Juni's sleeping.) )_

 _Originally written February 3, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. The faster I can get my past work uploaded, the faster I could put more recent work on here...probably. But nah, this pairing's great and I don't mind this collection so much actually. (There's never enough rip.)_

* * *

Dr. Edith Fennel, with her ph.D in some brand of science and her brilliant research regarding the Dream World, was restless. She was the one keeping house of the secluded cabin, while her lover and colleague, the equally captivating Professor Aurea Juniper, did some quick errands. And while keeping house should've been fun, it bordered on tiresome instead. No new research, no newly-borrowed games from Amanita, and certainly no cooking, since Juniper had banned her from doing so. (Metal pots could only melt so long until there were none left.) If all the activities related to being the common housewife on vacation were stripped from her very essence, then what fun was it to actually be a common housewife on vacation?

She groaned, tempted to call Colress, though how eccentric and often meddlesome was he. Waiting sucked. So desperately did she want to brighten Juniper's return with some from of appreciation, but her mind drew a blank as to the means of doing it. Cooking was banned, most definitely banned, and the cabin was relatively spotless, save for her workspace. The pokemon were well-fed and groomed…but, ah! Perhaps she could fix the eyesores in the cabin. The curtains, though she enjoyed floral patterns, were an outdated taste, and the refrigerator could use a little organization. Yes, she was certainly capable of completing such small tasks.

First were the curtains. There was a step-ladder that could be used, but Fennel was tall enough to bring down the mighty curtains without any help. One by one she undid the curtain hooks, humming a happy tune until she suddenly realized that there was no spare set of curtains. Grimacing, she squeezed the curtains just slightly enough to make them topple onto her body, muffling her curses. Well, maybe she just wasn't cut out for decorating. Not everybody could excel in home improvement.

Wearing the curtains as a badge of honor, Fennel tackled the fridge next. It was moderately-sized, but it wasn't overwhelmingly filled as to prevent her from taking everything out from it. Placing everything on the table, she towered over her food pile with a satisfied smirk on her face and her hands on her hips in utmost confidence. She would conquer the fridge to conquer Juniper's heart. The only problem was how to organize the food. By color? By food type? Should she separate the lunchmeats from the vegetables?

With the questions boggling her mind, the doctor decided to lay on top of the table for a few minutes to clear her head. Maybe she should just place everything back the way it was. Surely there were other ways to impress Juniper. There were other things around the cabin, like the plants and the skyscrapers and that fascinating five-headed Hydreigon…

"Ed?…Ed?"

Fennel opened her eyes to see Juniper standing by her with a bag of groceries tucked under one arm, looking befuddled. She must've been a sore sight, dangling her long legs over the table and wearing the curtains like a cape, but she would not let the day's failures get the best of her. Hopping off the table, she brushed her cape off of her and pressed her glasses forward, furrowing her eyebrows. "Aurea, I made an important discovery today," she declared.

"You…like curtains?"

"No. I'm not quite suitable for housekeeping." Fennel couldn't keep her serious face for long and sighed, taking the groceries from Juniper and gesturing to her messes. "The curtains are here and the food is there, and I can't help but wonder if I can be an artist under this labcoat of mine."

"Dad often feels the same way. Last time I visited him, he was smearing condiments on his painting canvas again. I'm sure you can be one of those science-artist types if you put your mind to it," Juniper replied, shrugging. "Besides, there was some stuff in the fridge I needed to throw out, anyway. You saved me the trouble of taking it out. Thanks."

For the next hour or so, the pair spent their time rearranging the fridge. The organization was similar to how it was before Fennel poked at it, (which, for the most part, was nonexistent), but the old was thrown out and the new replaced the old. Sitting side by side on the floor, Fennel leaned her head on Juniper's shoulder. Both women were usually so busy with their work that they only saw each about two weekends a month, if that, and it felt like they learned something new about each other upon each visit. When they were in college, Juniper's initial reason for liking Fennel was because she reminded her so much of Daddy Cedric, and Fennel's reason for liking Juniper was because of that fascinating hairstyle of hers. But sitting together like this reassured Fennel that after all these years, their love had grown into something that was beyond shallow, like a dream with peacekeeping robots.

Sighing happily Fennel placed the last item in the fridge and turned to Juniper, brimming with joy that she could always look forward to her lover's company and gain the slightest bit of knowledge. "Aurea, let's eat takeout in our bras today."

She pressed Juniper's nose as the professor chuckled, a good sign for them both. "Edith, you just want an excuse to dance around in your lingerie, and you know I won't stop you. Go ahead. Dance."

Juniper stood up and headed towards the living room, leaving Fennel pouting on the floor. It wasn't a real panty party unless they both ate Chinese in their bras and panties. "I'm going to see you in your panties one way or another!" she shouted. "And you don't get the cop-out of  
boxers this time!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure! Let's see you try!" Juniper shouted back, continuing to chuckle.

"And then we'll stay up late watching a robot movie!"

"No robot movies! You know you can't watch them after dark!"

By now Juniper was on the other side of the cabin, and Fennel continued to pout, leaning her head against the fridge. She didn't enjoy calling herself manipulative, but she would definitely get her way with her girlfriend, and she would definitely have dreams of killer robots by night's end. But at least her plans allotted her snuggle time with the most loyal woman in the world, just like every weekend, and fear was never an obstacle as she stood up and trotted after the professor.

"I can, too, Aurea! I just can't have chocolate with my robots!…"


	2. Chapter 2

_birthday present_

Juniper entered the old building with apprehension. She was radiant that she would see Fennel later in the day, since it was Fennel's birthday, but when she arrived in Castelia City that morning, she made the mistake of leaving her girlfriend's gift on the ferry. There was still time to purchase another present, for Juniper didn't have to meet with Fennel until lunchtime, but Fennel's tastes were certainly most quirky.

Her initial present was a beautiful dreamcatcher bought off of eBay, complete with turquoise beads and feathers, meant to highlight Fennel's successes regarding the Dream World. With the dreamcatcher forgotten, though there were few ideas left and fewer options available to make those ideas reality. Since Juniper didn't spend much time in Castelia, she was clueless as to where she could find most of her ideas, such as a decent dreamcatcher that didn't smell like incense or floral octopus slippers. In a last-ditch effort, she went to the one person that she knew was selling out-of-the-box items.

Upon entering the building, she was instantly stricken with regret that she could ever be so irresponsible. She despised having to slip into one of Castelia's crooked alleys in order to reach the location like some con-artist street peddler, and she despised having to actually set foot in this building, which she felt was unnaturally fresh and pristine from the heavy amounts of laundry detergent and air freshener. But most of all, she hated having to rely on the one man she trusted the least.

She shut her eyes in disgust as she saw the sunny blond with the curly blue lock rush down the stairs, waving to her like she was a long-lost relative. Colress was a scumbag asshole; no one could change her opinion about him. Fennel claimed that he was a reformed man after a year in prison, but Juniper couldn't forgive someone who helped almost blow up the world with an ice-breathing Kyurem. So she didn't feel she was being harsh with her chilly attitude towards him. "Good afternoon, Col-ugh!"

Scumbag asshole Colress had pulled her into a hug, and while Juniper was fond of Fennel's embraces, touching someone as repulsive as this man made her feel nauseous. To keep herself from pushing him, she took a deep breath and reminded herself that he was Fennel's friend and not one of the pokemon back on her father's ranch. "Good afternoon, Colress," she repeated, regaining her composure.

She continued to resist punching him as he patted her face with his nasty, gloved hands. _For Fennel_ was the constant line running through her head while Colress began laughing, looking as devious as ever. "I'm certainly lucky to have as someone as admirable as the lovely Aurea Juniper grace my dinky little shop. When Arti had phoned me for my address for you, I only thought he was joking." He chuckled. "Ha, but the joke's on me! So, what can I do for you, Professor?"

Burgh was probably the only one besides Fennel to be so friendly with Colress after the Team Plasma disaster. Honestly, how could even they stand his presence? With a queasy smile, Juniper was glad they were skipping straight to business. "Some things were not in my favor today, so I need to buy another gift for Ed, and I heard you sell the kind of robot stuff she likes. Can…can you recommend me anything?"

Oh, great Reshiram, that felt awful asking him for anything. Colress put a finger to his chin as he walked over to the washing machine, humming. "Yeah, I got stuff," he chirped. "I have some questionable stuff for free and some awesome stuff for money. Now do you have money, or do you want the free stuff?"

Juniper shuddered, hating to wonder what he classified as questionable. Flashing him her wallet, she gave him the response he needed to hop behind the counter and pull out a drawer of DVDs. "All righty, then, Professor, I can recommend you a classic." Holding up a DVD, he grinned. "It's both steamy action and steamy romance in one package. _Jenny and Mecha Space-Sword vs. the Five-Clit Octopus_ …wait, what's wrong?"

He noticed Juniper clutching her stomach, but she didn't care. This was not an appropriate way to discuss business, especially lewd business. There was no decorum in this man's body. She wanted to strangle him now, and she shook her head in fierce disapproval as he wiggled the DVD. "Really? I'm sure Eddy would enjoy it."

"I know she would enjoy it, but I'm not buying it with my money!" Juniper snapped.

Some things were meant to be private, and the sweet intimacy she and Fennel shared was one of them. She did not want to buy a tentacle-mecha porno from Colress, knowing he would know they watched it, even if it was a birthday gift. That kind of secret might have been shared in a swinging place like Castelia, but from where Juniper lived, romance was sacred. So the woman was satisfied (and thoroughly surprised) when Colress shot an apologetic look at her. "Sorry, sorry. I read somewhere that sex can be a source of power. Let me find something else, and you can sit on the washing machine, yeah?"

"Yeah…"

She sat on the washing machine, watching the scientist sort through the DVD drawer. Colress murmured something about how all the DVDs appeared to be tentacle-mecha pornos, scattering them across the floor in frustration. When the drawer became empty, he began sticking his fingers in the other drawers, making the shop a lot less tidier than when Juniper first arrived. But seeing Colress work this hard to find something appropriate gave Juniper a different perspective of him. She never chose to know him as well as Fennel did, not even when they first met in college, but she always sensed something that was deep inside him, deeper than his potentially malicious traits…a kind of boyish mischeviousness that never disappeared upon maturity. Maybe this was part of the secret side that Fennel loved about him. After all, they were childhood friends. Maybe he was even like the brother Fennel never had.

Ew. She hoped not. Amanita was all they needed. Pressing her legs against the washing machine, Juniper resisted shuddering again as Colress walked over to her, beaming, and handed her a small Astro Boy figurine. "It's a bobblehead," he explained, tapping Astro's head just slightly enough to make it bobble back and forth. "Back in the bad guy days, I traded an awesome choo-choo I had to little Nattie for this baby. Boy, aren't we lucky Ducklett."

Juniper blinked, feeling speechless. "Wow, thanks. Uh, let me pay you."

"Yeah, no, that was under the questionable stuff. It wasn't in its original packaaage. You just take it off my hands, 'kay? Oh, excuse me. I did expect this visitor."

He opened the door and brought a giggling Fennel into the room, holding her by the hips. "Oh, Eddy, I'm glad you came. Welcome!" he greeted, swinging the woman around in his arms. "Me and the Professor were just saying how awesome her gift is. Well, I was. You know this Aurea's more modest than you told me. But happy birthday, Edith~"

"Haha, thanks, Colress! Ohhh, Aurea, is that Astro? You're both too adorable."

There was no time to tackle Colress from the washing machine and pummel him because Colress dumped Fennel into her lap. Quickly she let go of her rising rage for the moment to focus on the birthday girl, kissing her on the ear. "Hey, Edith, happy birthday. Have a short day at work?"

Fennel nodded. "Arti, Colress, and I were gonna help me fill my apartment with balloons. Colress, you meanie, you didn't tell me Aurea wasn't coming here first!"

"Ahaha, it was unexpected."

"Well it's a nice surprise, but you still have to wait 'til dinner for the free food. Aurea gets to share me first." Sticking her tongue out at Colress, Fennel turned to Juniper, grinning. "We can go a little early to lunch, can't we, Aurea?"

"Yeah. Thanks for your input, Colress. We'll be leaving now."

Juniper was relieved to hop from the washing machine and flee from the shop, but before she managed to bolt, she noticed Colress stopping Fennel. "Wait a sec, Ed. Before you go I wanna give you my gift a little early. It's a classic and should be great in the bedroom, too."

"Ooh, really?"

Perspective be damned. Colress was more than a scumbag asshole. He was a scumbag asshole rival that needed to be stopped. Fennel could claim jealousy all she wanted, but Juniper wouldn't allow either of their innocence to be tainted. The man was not worthy of being Fennel's brother, friend, or even ex-scientific colleague. Setting aside her professionalism for this one occasion, Juniper barely gave Colress enough time to hand Fennel _Jenny and Mecha Space-Sword vs. the Five-Clit Octopus_ before she knocked him to the floor with her fist, whisking her girlfriend away to the bustling streets of Castelia City.

* * *

 _(Original notes: Co-starring Colress (he'll do that a lot 'cause he's great)_

 _Originally written February 6th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Intended for the previous day. I'm not much of a sexy writer._


	3. Chapter 3

_preparation_

Fennel's apartment looked like the Kami Trio had a raging party in it. In just two short days, she was supposed to deliver a speech alongside some of the most famous professors in the world, which included the great Professor Oak and her own favorite Junicup. It wasn't her favorite cup of tea, though, since she preferred to work on the sidelines with science magazines instead of having to face such important people and deliver a great speech. For hours she had been handed over her workspace, crumpling paper after paper as she made her final edits on her essay. Things were already stressful enough.

Then just an hour ago, Fennel received a surprise phone call from one of her cousins. To her amazement he was going to be the professor to deliver the introductory speech of their presentation, but to her horror he begged to stay with her since he was short on money, and she couldn't turn away a family member. It was impolite. But this meant now that she had to make accommodations for two people, Juniper and her cousin, and the attempted spring cleaning turned into spring screaming, Papers were balled up everywhere, clothes were piled, and coffee stains were still noticeable.

Colress wasn't much help as he was making his own mess in the kitchen fixing daiquiris for them. Usually Fennel shared the scientist's fascination with screwing around with the blender, but she could not return the feeling tonight. All she wanted to focus on was talking to Juniper on the Xtransceiver. The brunette's forehead creased with concern as she placed a hand by Fennel's face on her screen. "Edith, you look terrible. What happened?"

Oh, how she wished she could feel her girlfriend's touch. Fennel bit her lip and nodded, slightly embarrassed that her stress was that obvious. "Augustine called just before you did. He's going to be broke after his ferry ride, so I agreed to let him stay with us."

"Huh? I thought you liked company."

"I do! In fact, I actually have Colress over right now. Oh, wait, would you hold for a sec?" Fennel turned around just in time to miss Juniper's look of annoyance over her 'enemy brother rival', craning her head in the kitchen. "Colress, honey, you can't put an actual screwdriver in the blender when it's on! I already tried that!"

"Oh, okay!" Colress called back, tossing the screwdriver in a random direction. "Sorry, Edith."

Fennel turned back to the Xtransceiver. "Now where were we, Aurea?"

"Augustine."

"Oh, yes. You know that my parents and Amanita are wonderful people, but most of my other relatives are such stuffy hens!" She remembered with a sigh of how judgmental they were, constantly criticizing her for her 'lack of drive' and 'unconventional ways of living', which included having a girlfriend instead of the standard boyfriend. What if her cousin was like them? "Other than seeing him on TV, I haven't even seen Augustine since we vacationed as kids years ago. He got my number from Mom, and when he called me I actually thought he was prank-calling me. Aurea, what if he's a French stuffy hen, too? Or what if he doesn't want to eat Fruity Pebbles or takeout for dinner? You know we can't cook…ahhh, stop that!"

Juniper placed a hand over her mouth, stifling her giggle. "Ahaha, I'm sorry, Ed," she apologized, shaking her head, "but Sycamore is nothing like that. I met him once while I was in the Kalos region, though he didn't mention you two being cousins. He's a really nice guy. Really likes hand puppets and cream cheese, and his laboratory would be upside-down if it wasn't for his assistants. You don't have anything to worry about."

"But I can't heeelp iiit!" Fennel whined, pressing her own hands against the screen. "If you heard he's a really nice guy, then you must've heard he's been voted as one of the top sexiest men in the Kalos region. What if he sweeps you off your feet and steal you away from me? You can't help me if you're stolen and placed in a box somewhere, Junicup."

This time Juniper did not laugh. Her forehead continued to crease as she gave a small smile, holding her Xtransceiver closer to her face to emphasize her worry lines and premature grays. "Ed. Listen to me, Ed," she said sternly. "I'm not going to be swept away by anyone besides you, even if I met someone so similar to you that I can't seem to tell you apart. I don't want any pretty boy that tries to flirt with me. I just want you. I love you, Ed."

"I love you, too. Thanks so much, Aurea."

The two women blew kisses at each other and continued talking for the next hour or so. By that time Fennel was finally at ease, and when she hung up and walked over to the kitchen, she wasn't the least bit bothered by the sugar and lime juice that was practically on every surface. Colress looked sheepish but pleased, satisfied that he made something harmless with his own two hands. Handing Fennel a melting daiquiri, he walked behind her and began massaging her shoulders, making her giggle. "Ahaha, Colress, stop it!" she squeaked, lightly pushing his chest. "You're already nice, but you know you don't act this nice unless you want something, you big meanie."

"Ahhh, you caught me, but this time what I want will benefit us all." There was a twinkle in Colress's eyes, a sign that Fennel probably should've heeded but instead ignored. "I admit I eavesdropped a little, for a good reason of course. I bet you would feel absolutely one hundred percent fantastic if I swept Professor Sycamore off his feet during his time here. Don't worry, I won't break his heart. It'll all be casual, casual double dating…"

* * *

 _(Original notes: Colress can't be considered as incompetent. He's just one of those people who always had assistance from others with everyday routines, so after the Team Plasma incident, most domestic activities are new to him and he acts like he's seven…but there's a crucial difference between Fennel and him. Whereas she's a bit clumsy at times and can't cook to save her life because it's just her natural personality, Colress just acts that way mostly to piss people off (though it's endearing to Fennel). )_

 _Originally written February 8th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Two years later, Colress is still one of my favorite characters. Along with Fennel and Juniper, I wish they'd all come back. maybe some cameos for sun and moon idk._


	4. Chapter 4

_unforeseen_

 _(Original notes: N/A, a lot of rambling)_

 _Originally written February 9th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. A lot of outdated language and other stuff I've grown past in the past couple of years. Not my favorite but still. (Also some scenes are viewer discretion advised.)_

* * *

This was completely unforeseen.

When Juniper had arrived in Castelia City this morning, she expected to gather a jittery Fennel in her arms and take her to a diner for some quick coffee and pancakes before their conference. They would ease each other's fears, gossip a little about each other's neighbors, and pick up Fennel's cousin and fellow colleague, Professor Sycamore, along the way to Castelia University, where the conference would be held. And as promised a couple of days ago, Juniper would deny any advances that Sycamore could muster from his suave lips.

But there were no worries on that, for when Juniper stepped off the ferry, she realized that the two men on both sides of Fennel were her company. Sycamore, whose tall, whiskery self had arrived earlier than expected, couldn't control his laughter as he kept squeezing his cousin around her chest area and telling her what big, pretty boobies she had. Glad she was still at a far distance but annoyed that she could hear his comments, Juniper would've clocked him in the face for harassment if she didn't know better that Sycamore was just as innocent (and admittedly eccentric) as Fennel was. For now she would just keep a silent eye on Sycamore, and in the event he did pose as a threat to his cousin, he would definitely feel her wrath.

When she noticed that the other man was Colress, however, she almost dropped her luggage in the water. How could this man, who had just been released from prison only a few short months ago, have the nerve to still show his face in public without feeling the least bit ashamed or ostracized? Even worse, how could Fennel never seem to get tired of his constant meddling? If he was with Fennel this morning instead of tinkering with his kitchen appliances, he had to be scheming something.

Yet not wanting to upset Fennel just hours before her speech, Juniper kept her suspicions to herself and called out to her girlfriend in a cheery voice. As expected, Fennel turned around and squealed, racing to give the brunette a long hug and kiss. As unexpected, Sycamore and Colress followed her, but Sycamore was holding the blond scientist in such a comfortable bridal style position as he ran that Juniper actually did drop her luggage in the water this time. The wheely suitcase was safe and dry, but the two other suitcases plopped in the water and released a stream of rather unprofessional undergarments. Juniper facepalmed, Fennel gasped, and as Sycamore peered into the water, still holding Colress in his arms, he pointed to a lacy push-up bra and murmured, "Professor, I hope those weren't for dearest Eddie. They're too small."

The dysfunction was _on_.

After that embarrassing ordeal, Juniper focused solely on Fennel and the conference. It wasn't often that the doctor dressed formally for anything, so she looked adorable in her lavender dress and bolero as she delivered her speech to the audience with minimum discomfort. Juniper was proud of her. So proud of her that when neither of them was onstage, the brunette refused to acknowledge their male companions stuffing their pockets with free breadsticks. There was no need to make a scene on such a memorable night, especially around highly-esteemed colleagues, but it was irksome nonetheless. There was no point in taking free food home when the four of them were going out to a real restaurant afterwards.

Yes, the four of them. Before she knew it, the four of them were at said restaurant, dining on steak and wine. It was like a bad setup of a sitcom that she and Fennel watched. _Three doctors and and an engineer researcher have dinner at a restaurant…_ Juniper thought with a snort, though she knew very well that Colress wasn't their only problem. Sycamore was a really nice man, as she had claimed herself to Fennel two days ago, but if she thought Colress acted like he was seven, then Sycamore acted like he was five. Despite their appearances the two men could've been brothers as neither one of them had an ounce of decorum in their beings. Juniper was sure she felt a blood vessel somewhere as Sycamore, who had no qualms about Colress's squeaky boots resting on his lap, pulled out a sock puppet from his labcoat. "Colress, I know you are a reform man from prison, so I want you to meet Monsieur Jean- Claude Van Danish," he introduced, wiggling the one-eyed sock puppet with his hand. "My dearest friend, Lizzie, has made some mistakes and now serves time in the big house with his depression. On visiting days me and Monsieur Van Danish go and cheer him up. Maybe when he is released, you two should meet. Two reform men, so lovely, yes?"

Colress nodded, looking disinterested. Sycamore also nodded, taking a sip of wine. "And you say your old boss was running from the law. Can he not be reformed as well?"

"No, my old boss is a psychotic son of a bitch. He needs to be locked up and observed for science," Colress said nonchalantly. "You wouldn't like him."

"Ah, what a shame."

Juniper refused to take the taunting bait, knowing too well that Ghetsis was on a completely different level of criminal. She allowed them to continue conversing with each other while she and Fennel took turns feeding each other, but as time passed the men's conversation became more and more bizarre. Sycamore was a sloppy drunk, and Colress was just obnoxious, so an already-obnoxious scientist trying to silence a sloppy drunk was impossible. The professor was spilling the beans on every aspect of his life from sex to science, and he was even making Colress uncomfortable. He had sex with forty women in 1999 until he learned he had chlamydia, and thereafter he told all forty women that he had 'infected their innocent pumpkins'. Monsieur Van Danish had one eye because he ate its button after a lost bet in 2005. He spent his last fifty this week on the newest Grand Theft Auto, and he was left to scavenge his trash cans for leftover scraps.

And he liked sucking toes, as he demonstrated by pulling off one of Colress's boots and socks off and placing his mouth over the big toe. It was disgusting. The people around them began to watch and casually take pictures of the scene. All Juniper wanted was to crawl under the table like a little girl and get away from this absolute mess. How professional people could become such monsters so quickly was beyond her comprehension. She continued biting her tongue, not wanting to blow up the situation, but it was so hard. She didn't like Colress, but Sycamore was unnerving him, and it showed. The blond's pasty cheeks were flushed, and he kept trying to take his feet off Sycamore's lap with no success. This was wrong, so overwhelming.

"Augustine!"

Fennel walked over to the other side of the table and smacked her cousin, pushing Colress's feet away from his lap. Ignoring the drool on her fingers, she glared at the flustered professor. "Augustine, you can't do this in public!" she reprimanded, pointing a finger at him. "I didn't want you hitting on Aurea, but I didn't want you moving so quickly on Colress, either! He's not a ladies man!"

"Slow as a Slugma, I must admit."

Sycamore scratched at his stubble, bowing his head in apology. "I am certainly most shameful," he murmured. "I will sincerely apologize when I am sober, Edith."

"Yes, well, I think Colress can take you to Starbucks before you go home. Colress, honey, you can keep him busy for a couple of hours, right?"

"Can do, Ed, but Augie, buddy, you gotta stay away from the feet…"

Fennel nodded and smiled, leading the dumbfounded Juniper away from the table.

* * *

"I can't believe this. My world's gone topsy-turvy."

Juniper flopped on top of the floral bedsheets, sighing. After whisking her away to the apartment, Fennel had told her of Colress's plans of double dating. It backfired, since neither he nor Fennel knew of the professor's drunken antics, but it was a sweet yet annoying gesture. Wait, sweet? No. Calling Colress anything similar to 'sweet' was insulting to her, and the brunette buried her face into a pillow. Fennel giggled, patting the woman's rear. "Yeah. Augustine was so gross to do that, though. I mean, what kind of person sucks another's toes unless those toes tasted like peppermint? Or butterscotch?"

She continued patting Juniper's rear. "I'm gonna ask Colress if he puts anything on his feet later, if he doesn't, I'm gonna call Augustine a dirty toe sucker in the morning," she said, cackling. "Mr. Van Danish will be mortified."

"I think we've licked dirtier things than toes, Edith."

They still had time before Colress dropped off Sycamore at the apartment. Fennel sat on Juniper's knees, straddling her, a twinkle in her eyes. No, they weren't toe suckers, just naughty girls that enjoyed their privacy. Juniper moaned as her lover began kissing down her collarbone and fondled her breasts. "Ed, you know we're going to have to take care of them both this week," she murmured. "Can we drop them off at a ball pit and hope someone adopts them?"

"Ahaha, Aurea. Maybe only for a couple of days, if only because Augustine insulted your cute boobies."

"Well, I'm glad _you_ like them, hon."

Fennel nodded, continuing to kiss Juniper down the neck, breasts, belly…and when she reached her boxers, the doctor tugged on them, causing Juniper to buck in excitement. At least their night could end well. "You know, Junicup," Fennel whispered huskily, "I'm sure your kitty tastes better than any set of toes."

"Even mine?"

"Well-"

 _"MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PAST, AND I'M HOMEBROWN- UHHH-"_

"DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO…"

 _ **BOOM!**_

"AUGUSTINE…WHY DID YOU FALL, HOMEBROWN BUDDY?"

"LET'S…LET'S HAVE SEX ON THE BLENDER, COLORS!"

Both women groaned as they collapsed in the bed. It was very obvious that Colress did not take Sycamore to any coffee shop, and they were obnoxiously trashed. Someone would have to stay up all night with them to make sure neither one destroyed the apartment. Fennel was about to take the task, but Juniper stopped her, grabbing the fire poker as she redressed herself. "No, Mom, Dad's got this one…"


	5. Chapter 5

_kissing_

This was the first time Fennel truly noticed Colress.

For four or five years, they had been simply neighbors in Striaton City and more importantly, fierce cello rivals. Fennel hated everything about the instrument and its association with recitals - its bulky figure, its heavy bow, its constant threatening of squishing the girl's toes. She would much rather take the foul thing apart or doze off on its massive self than spend long hours practicing on it. But her relatives demanded that she do something more prestigious with her time than sit around and bury her head in encyclopedias all day, and she didn't want to upset her parents. They tried so hard to help her with her visions, and she didn't want to appear selfish.

One day she cracked. After falling over her cello, busting her lip, she finally collapsed over the instrument and refused to get back up to play in the recital. The crushing weight that was on her shoulders was finally released when her parents pulled her away from backstage, consoling her by telling her what a wonderful child they had. If their dearest Edith didn't want to play the cello anymore, that was fine. If her aunts and uncles wanted to scorn her, so be it. There was no reason to place their relatives' happiness over their daughter's.

At least she could leave the musical scene as a dignified young lady, though. Sitting on her father's lap, Fennel decided to watch the rest of the recital. It was then that she noticed Colress, as a distant rival to hate but as a beautiful boy to adore. His pasty, bespectacled face stood focused as he glided the bow back and forth on the cello. It was a bittersweet tune, so melancholy yet so inviting. When Fennel shut her eyes, her tears were swept away as she imagined herself and the boy in a world of dreams. It was obvious that he hated playing as much as she did, and so Fennel also imagined that this tune was dedicated to them both. She was the Pidove that broke from its cage; he was the Pidove that remained trapped. Such a tragedy.

Since her final competition, Fennel wanted to hear Colress play again. She could never directly go to his house and ask him if she could watch, since the boy's parents were highly-ranked scientists that viewed Fennel as a lesser competitor and a plain accountant's girl, so every day the twelve-year-old sneaked in through an open window after school, hiding behind the curtains, wishing to hear even a half-hour's worth of cello practicing. Some would warn her that she was breaking and entering, but she digressed, knowing she wasn't breaking and entering because the window was open and she wasn't stealing anything besides a free show. Luckily Colress's parents never noticed she was in the house, though Fennel had a feeling Colress noticed. Sometimes he played tunes that weren't usual of his routine, tunes that vaguely resembled Mario or Legend of Zelda themes. But whatever he played, it was certainly a treat.

One day, however, something was wrong. When Fennel wiggled her way into the room where Colress practiced, she saw that the cello was without its owner. This room felt much emptier, but Fennel could hear voices in the parlor in the room next to it. Risking a chance to peep, the girl gasped at what she saw beyond the doorway. Besides Colress's parents there were three other men. She didn't recognize the two older men that stood on either side of the couch, but she recognized the man sitting on the couch, or at the very least his lineage. The pale, green-haired man in the gray suit belonged to one of the most influential families in the Unova region. Harmonica, she believed the name was. He was as handsome as the other Harmonicas, and he was smiling, but there was something menacing about him. Perhaps it was the eyepatch. It looked just like the kind of eyepatch that could fire lasers, and Fennel was very tempted to run up to him and touch it. But he didn't look very friendly, and she didn't want to lose her cello listening privileges.

Suddenly the parlor door creaked and Fennel squeaked, fearful of someone finding her. There was no time to go out the window without being nosy, so she had to hide. But where? There wasn't much in the room besides the cello and furniture, and the curtains wouldn't help this time, but there was a closet where she could hide. Yes, that was brilliant. Fennel wasted no time in putting her idea into action as she shuffled into the closet, stifling her coughs when she shut the door behind her. There were thick robes hung by her, and they smelled strongly of lavender and other old man cologne. They made her nose itch. But all she had to do was focus, and- and was there somebody else in there with her?

She was about to scream when a hand clamped over her mouth and a dim light flickered on above her. It was Colress. Slowly he released his hand, staring blankly at the girl. "Hey, you're that girl that ushed to play cello. You like watching me play," he whispered, lisping. "Who are you hiding from?"

He _did_ know. Fennel tugged on her glasses, slightly embarrassed. "Everybody. Your parents. Those old men. Especially that Mr. Harmonica. He looks like he uses that laser eyepatch for evil."

"Mr. Harmonia, you mean? Yeah. He likesh pinching me when my parentsh aren't looking." Colress pulled back a sleeve to reveal several bruises and scratch marks. Some were faded, but most were recent. "I already checked hish eyepatch, though. That red thing ish a ruby, not a lasher. It'sh too bad, really. It would've shuited him better."

"Ahaha…"

"Heh. I know. Um. I don't think we've achtually introduched ourselves to each other. My name ish Edward Colressh. Um…please don't call me Edward. And you're Edith Fennel, right?"

But Edith wasn't listening. All she could focus on were the shiny braces that lined Colress's teeth. She never noticed he had braces before this, but they were absolutely magnificent. Delighted in the boy, she put a finger against either side of his mouth and began tugging. This either amused Colress or annoyed him, and he began moaning, making Fennel giggle. "Yes! I hope we can be friends and play Nintendo someday! My mom could also let us play with the blender, and my dad could let us play with the power drill outside, and I could play doctor on your braces!"

"I annah kissh yuh eethfor we geth caughth."

"Huh? Colress, honey, you can't speak if I'm playing doctor."

"I annah kisssshh yuh."

"I-I-I don't understand, Colress- oh, crap, we're falling."

The closet door swung open, and Colress fell on Fennel, his lips crushing against hers. Fennel's face flustered for a few seconds before she felt bile in her mouth. Pushing the boy off of her, she was relieved for a few more seconds before the Harmonia man kicked her in the ribs with his big, shiny boot. "Edward, this one looks broken," he snarled. "You need to lock that thing back in the basement-"

"BLECHHH!"

"FUCKING BITCH!"

And vomiting all over Ghetsis's big, shiny boots, making almost everyone in the room fume with disgust and hatred, this was the moment that began a beautiful friendship between Fennel and Colress.

* * *

"Who was your first kiss?"

Fennel looked at her roommate, curious of the answer. For two years now she shared a room with the pretty, big-haired Aurea Juniper, but it was only for the last few months that they grew closer. While they both shared a passion for science and research, Juniper was much quieter and much more focused on her work than Fennel was. She performed 'normal' college things in the autumn, such as playing volleyball and participating in clubs, but as the winter set in, she became more distant and kept cooped up in the room. It was a nice change for Fennel, who valued her company and was happy that she could spend some quality girl time instead of tearing things apart with Colress.

But she hoped she didn't make Juniper uncomfortable again. It was the day before Valentine's Day, and both of them were still single. Juniper didn't look comfortable, though, just slightly confused as to how someone could want to know so much about her. She scratched her head, sticking a pencil behind her ear. "Well, once Dad and I were on a research expedition in the Kanto region when I was seventeen. We stood in a college campus in Pewter City, and one day when I was buying groceries, I met this guy. He had squinty eyes." The brunette shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, but her scrunched up nose suggested otherwise. "He said he was a ladies man. I believed him for a few seconds and we kissed, and then Dad decked him. What about you?"

"Colress and I kissed in his closet. We were twelve. It was kicky. I threw up all over his parents' boss's shoes, his parents kicked me out, and they sent him to a boarding school for two years. When he got back, though, we had a Nintendo and robot marathon all week."

"Ah. You guys are really close."

It was a statement, not a question. Fennel almost felt offended that Juniper would be so blunt, but she spoke the truth. When Colress had returned from two grueling years at boarding school, the two became almost inseparable, despite his parents' objections. Throughout high school they spent many hours between Fennel's room and the woodshop at school, tinkering with every mechanical or scientific thing they could find. They ate together, slept together, and learned together. They even dated in a "nonromantic, nonkissing, mutual benefit" manner for a few years, going as far as going to their senior prom with each other and being voted "most awkward" couple. Everyone besides Fennel's parents hated the relationship, stating it was going absolutely nowhere, but Fennel never saw how it could go anywhere. She saw Colress as a brother and a best friend, even in college, and nothing more than that.

But judging from Juniper's tone of voice, it appeared that something was indeed wrong. "Aurea, you're not…jealous, are you?"

It was the wrong thing to say. Juniper hopped off her bed and stomped over to the closet, Fennel close at her heels. She was always upsetting the brunette yet never knowing the reason why. Vague answers or answers along the lines of, 'Don't worry about it' were always given to her. Juniper tended to bottle up her emotions and thoughts, which was one of the main reasons why it was rough for Fennel to get closer to her. She was constantly doing this, but it was frustrating, and in her frustration Fennel pulled on the other woman's shirt as Juniper threw clothes into a backpack. "Aurea!" she cried, holding back her tears. "Aurea, I'm sorry, but you can't keep doing this to me, either! I don't want you to be jealous. I want you to open up with me and like me like I like you- mmmph!"

She was elbowed in the face. As she stood hunched over, cradling her bleeding lip, she saw Juniper's face tense up with concern and regret before it was quickly masked by fury. "'Like me like I like you'?" she repeated angrily. "Edith, how could you even say something like that?! Everyone on the campus says that if we had co-ed dorms, you'd be bunk buddies right now with that pretentious geek! If you're not with me, you're with him, and when you're not with him, you talk about him all the time! How can I take you seriously hen I'm thinking you two are still…are still _fucking_ with each other?!"

"We're not doing anything!" Fennel snapped. She felt herself screaming now. It was an unfamiliar feeling, as she never screamed. "There's no fucking, fornicating, kitty- licking, _anything!_ We're just friends! He's still a virgin!"

"And why should I believe you?"

Fennel didn't know. She stood there silently, nursing her lip, watching Juniper continue packing her backpack as tears trickled down her face. The dark-haired woman wasn't used to confrontation. Even worse, she wasn't used to not being trusted. There was never any reason or motive to be dishonest or deceitful with Juniper. Every time they talked, Fennel made sure she was always so cordial and genuine to her roommate. All she wanted was for Juniper to grow closer to her, even if the brunette just took little steps at a time, and she never meant to push her or anger her. Yet there the woman was, packing all her essentials in the backpack, looking as distant as ever, and when their eyes finally met, her green ones remained cold. "I'm going to stay with Lenora for the night to blow some steam. If I'm not back by tomorrow, then happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy it with whatever you want to call him. Good night."

"Aurea…trust me…"

Juniper headed towards the door, ignoring her dark-haired roommate sobbing on the floor as she slammed the door behind her. It felt to Fennel like it had been hours afterwards, not even realizing that she had called Colress until he lifted her and carried her to her bedroom. But as her head cradled in his lap, not even the perky blond could truly console her, for he had a devastating blow of his own. Just tonight he came to the decision that he wouldn't pursue his doctorate with her. He received a very generous offer from that Harmonia, the same crotchety one with the nonlaser eyepatch, to work in his ranks as a researcher with few restrictions. Ghetsis was a terrible man, a very terrible man, but the opportunities outweighed the boss.

"Besides," he told her in a gentle voice, "I think me leaving will benefit you in the end, too, Edith. You can't expand your boundaries if I'm always right up your tush. Aurea is a smart girl and probably notices this, too. She's much more likely to open up to you if I'm not around."

"But I love you!" Fennel sobbed, clawing her nails into his pants. "And I love Aurea, but we both know I don't like you like that. We're just friends! Why can't she understand that you and I are just friends?!"

Her voice was hoarse from screaming again, but she didn't care. For the first time in so long, she wanted to feel selfish. She wanted to puncture her nails through Colress's pants and his skin, making him bleed, making him the slightest bit more sympathetic towards her so he wouldn't ever have to leave. But the blond kept his cool, though he did pull Fennel into a rare hug. "Listen, Edith, let's put you into bed. You're getting tired. You need to clear your head."

"I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED!"

She kicked him and fell off of his lap, screaming against the carpet. It felt like another few hours had passed by instead of only a few minutes as she wrestled with Colress, kicking him, scratching him, spitting on him. But Colress finally won, lifting her into the bed again. He held her by the wrists as she continued kicking and screaming, knocking the bedsheets to the floor, and it was apparent that his patience was thinning. "Edith, listen to me! Edith, please listen! Listen-listen-listen-listen-LISTEN! _LISTEN!_ "

SLAP!

There was silence. Fennel felt tears welling up again as her anger suddenly subsided. There was a burning sensation in one of her cheeks, but it looked like Colress suffered the worse end of it. His pasty cheeks were flushed, scratched, and his own eyes began to water. Before Fennel could apologize, the man kissed her on the forehead, pressing his forehead against her own as he chuckled. "Look at what you did. Ol' Laser Eye's going to think I got mauled by a Beartic or something," he murmured. "But Edith, I want you to listen. I love you. I love you like you love Aurea. I'll always love you like that, even when you two are married and I somehow become your sperm donating sugar daddy.

"But I won't get in the way. One day you'll grow up. So will she. And when that time comes, I wish you the best in the bedroom. Heh. But you know it'll take time. For now let her blow steam off at your friend's, and let you celebrate tomorrow as a beautiful, socially awkward genius. You two can be sappy when you're old ladies in rocking chairs."

"Edward…"

"Ack, anything but that! Say thank you or something, not that name! Gosh, foolish Edith…"

For hours after that, Fennel laid in bed, thinking. She preferred to be in the Dream World, but she couldn't think hard in her dreams. One day they'd spend Valentine's Day together, as more than friends. One day she'd take Juniper's heart into her hands and give it the love and affection it deserved. Juniper didn't even have to like Colress, as far as she was concerned. All she wanted was for the brunette to like and accept her, in a way that was more than platonic. But Fennel knew it would not be tonight, or tomorrow, or even any time in the near-future, as she drifted off into the worst, dreamless sleep she experienced in years.

* * *

 _(Original notes: *rambling about depressing* , not so much as scientificshipping as a flashback chapter to relate as to how our favorite science ladies live now...one of two parts.)_

 _Originally written February 13th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Dramatic and stuff, ye._


	6. Chapter 6

_valentine's day_

It was the night before Valentine's Day. The apartment was still full but unusually quiet. Juniper sat in the recliner, reading a book. Somewhere Colress and Sycamore played with their new screwdrivers, courtesy of her father, and Fennel was in her study, working on her research with a 'Do not disturb' sign taped on the door. For some reason the doctor was always moodier around Valentine's Day, and Juniper couldn't understand why. In fact, Fennel always avoided her for those two days ever since they started dating six years ago. If it wasn't for the conference a few days earlier, Juniper doubted she'd even be here reading now. But her ferry didn't leave until Sunday, and so she faced a silent weekend with her girlfriend and the kids.

Sighing, she flipped over a page. From the kitchen came Sycamore, a colander over his head and his sock puppet, Monsieur Jean-Claude Van Danish, holding a screwdriver. All over his whiskered face was a substance that looked like the marmalade Fennel bought yesterday. Juniper resisted the urge to punch her fellow professor, instead grabbing a few tissues and rubbing his sideburns. His small yelps were satisfaction enough. "Ow! Hey, uh, Dad- ow! Can I have five dollars? Ow, you're really rough, Dad."

"Five dollars? I gave you five dollars yesterday, Augustine. And the day before that. And when I left you and Colress in the ballpit, I gave you each twenty dollars. If I keep advancing you your allowance, you're going to end up selling your laboratory to pay off your debt."

"I know, but Colress and I wanted to buy some more trading cards, and owww! Daaad!"

"No more trading cards! Go back in the kitchen!"

Sycamore shuffled into the kitchen, head hung low in disappointment. For good Reshiram's sake, he was older than her. How a thirty-five year old professor could act so childish and irresponsible as to ask for an allowance was beyond Juniper's understanding. At least Colress was smart enough to manage his money, his own money from wherever he actually earned money. Rolling her eyes Juniper went back to her book for about another twenty minutes before she heard a faint muffled sound. Someone was knocking. It couldn't have been Fennel's sister, Amanita, from next door, since the girl was out on a fossil expedition with Lenora. Maybe it was Burgh.

When she opened the door, she was knocked off guard. It was an elderly couple, about in their late sixties. Both of them looked out of place in the hallway, as the man wore a three-piece suit and the woman wore pearls above a conservative navy dress. Both of them also had graying, blond hair and looked unfriendly. They didn't look like the type of people that associated with Fennel, and even Juniper felt awkward talking to them. "Good evening," she greeted. "Um, can I help you?"

The man's eyes narrowed, looking like Juniper insulted or disrespected them. He gave a curt nod, pushing his glasses to his face. "My wife and I heard that this is the place where Edward is staying. Might we speak to him?"

"Edward? No, sorry, Sir, there's no Edward here. My girlfriend and I have two kids here, though. You can take them off my hands."

Now the woman looked insulted. No one ever got Juniper's sense of humor, geez. She tapped her cane in frustration, glaring at the brunette. "Now we don't mean disrespect, young lady, but we know this is that whore's apartment. You just tell that whore to stop giving that wretched boy money." Whore? What whore? What wretched boy? Who was Edward? "And tell her to tell him that he's not getting a cent from us to pay her back! He's a disgraceful piece of filth that deserves to rot in poverty for the rest of his life! He's not our son anymore!"

"Certanly not after failing everyone and continuing to associate with that lowlife accountant's daughter!"

These people were demented. Juniper had been taught to never disrespect her elders, but she was about to shut the door on the couple when Colress stormed out of the kitchen. Sycamore was behind him, trying to hold him back and plead with him, but the blond could not be persuaded to do anything besides stepping right up to the old man. Taking a hold of the door, Colress shot what appeared to be an apologetic look to Juniper before shifting his gaze at the couple, glaring at them both. "You're not to disrespect Edith in her own home, Elise…Edward," he said quickly, face flushing.

The older man named Edward scoffed. "I'm glad you know our severed ties are mutual, Edward. It was foolish for you to keep trying to call us your parents, though it's just as foolish you've kept our name instead of fading into obscurity."

"Oh, please. You don't monopolize my name. Much to your utter disappointment, I like the name 'Colress'. But that's discussion for another time. Let's take this conversation elsewhere, shall we? Excuse us, Aurea…"

Shutting the door behind him, Colress left behind a dumbstruck Juniper and Sycamore. Behind her she could hear Sycamore ask himself if all parents acted so rudely. That was a very valid question, but Juniper was surprised that Colress had any relatives at all. They obviously were estranged from him, but there they were, a mother and father, albeit a very arrogant, nasty, mother and father. Judging from Colress's tone of voice, the whore his parents were referring to was Edith, but Juniper didn't understand why the held such malice in their voices for the doctor or how she was involved in Edward's financial problems. (An even more dumbstruck voice crossed Juniper's mind as she realized Colress's first name wasn't Colress.) When she brought the situation to Fennel's attention that night, Fennel just shrugged it off and laughed, but Colress was cross when he came back to the apartment, refusing to talk to anyone. Nothing made sense.

When Juniper woke up the next morning, she found that Fennel was not snoring next to her. That was weird. Usually it took forever to pull the woman out of bed, even for work, and she was off from work today. She wasn't anywhere in the apartment, either. Walking into the kitchen, all Juniper found was Colress sitting at the table reading the newspaper, taking a sip of fresh coffee from a mug. Since the comics were tossed aside, the man was actually reading news or sports or anything that wasn't the comics section. But he still looked cross, his eyes narrowing over whatever he was reading with annoyance. It was unsettling. Upon noticing the brunette, he merely gave her one glance-over and returned his attention to the paper, frowning. "Edith went out. She wanted to beat the morning supermarket rush."

 _Nothing made sense._ Fennel never woke up at nine in the morning just to buy groceries. Colress never dropped his childish demeanor. Going against every instinct in her body, Juniper felt Colress's forehead with her hand. His temperature felt normal. Such a waste of touching him, but she couldn't turn back. She grabbed a stool and sat next to the man, sweatdropping. "Uh, so those were your parents last night, huh? I never pegged you as an Edward."

Colress glared at her. He, _Colress_ of all people, was glaring at her. The morning was becoming more and more unsettling. "I don't go by that," he said simply, setting the newspaper aside, "and they don't go by my parents. Not anymore. But yes, Aurea, they were here."

He didn't even call her 'Dad'. Juniper's sweatdrop only grew bigger, but she refused to back down from his unusual behavior. "So what were they doing here? That didn't look like a normal family-disowning visit."

"Very observant, Professor. They've disowned me for years. But fine, I'll tell you." Colress sighed, tapping his fingers against the table. "These past couple of years haven't been easy for me. When I was released from prison, I was very aware that my life was forever changed. I moved here to Castelia and opened a shop to make an honest living, but most people won't buy from you when they've seen your mugshot everywhere. I considered a lot of options. Killing myself and selling my organs to science. Running back to Ghetsis, though he'd lost what little marbles he had left. Running back to prison. It's not hard to commit a felony, you know.

"One day I bumped into Edith, out of pure coincidence. It had been the first time since we'd seen each other since I joined Team Plasma. We hugged, we talked. She was the first to show me kindness. She…"

He paused, blushing, back to his old self. This wasn't good. "You won't like hearing this, I'm afraid," he said finally, sighing again. "She's been giving me money every month. I've told her to stop. I've told her I'd repay her back. But she won't listen to me, so I decided to take drastic measures. I asked my birthgivers for money, not only to repay Edith back but to give her some extra money so you two could go out tonight. After some fast-talking deliberations, I succeeded, but she found out my plan. I suppose you told her, oops. So this morning she took the owed money but threw the extra money in my face. Said she couldn't accept it. She almost didn't accept the owed money, but I insisted until I was blue in the face- _oof!_ "

She tackled him to the floor, sending the stools crashing to either side of them. This woke up Sycamore from the couch, who lazily watched the pair from the doorway. This made zero sense. Which pile of dung that came from that blond jackass's mouth made less sense to Juniper - the pile where he accepted free money from his best friend, the pile where he actually paid her back and even wanted to help his best friend go on a date with his rival, or the pile where he said Fennel actually refused his offer? It was like she was purposely avoiding Juniper today, and it upset the brunette, and all Colress did was stare at her, commenting, "Heh. Augustine was right. You do have small boobies."

" _Shut up!_ " Juniper snapped. "Why does she act this way every year?! Why isn't she herself?!"

"My, my, for a renowned professor, you do have an awful temper. How am I supposed to know? We've only been talking for a few months."

"Answer me, _Edward-_ fuck!"

It was a complete mystery as to how Colress overpowered her and sat her on the table, tapping her head with the rolled-up newspaper. He looked angry for a second, then exhausted, like being tackled by a girl was the worst thing in the world. "I told you not to call me that. Bad Aurea. Bad." He tapped her head again, clicking his tongue, and she never felt more embarrassed. "You of all people should know better. Our dearest Eddie won't do anything for Valentine's Day until you approach her first about it."

"…what."

"Story time, my dear professor. It all starts back when we were in college, when you two had that big fight the day before Valentine's Day. You were jealous of me and didn't trust her like a doodoo, and now she's decided to give you two space on this candy-filled day until you make the first move. But obviously you're over the mistrust, though I doubt that jealousy's gone away, tsk tsk. I'm just too handsome for your liking, Dad."

"Eh? But that was just a stupid fight. We made up back then."

Deep down in her heart, however, she knew she couldn't excuse the fight as stupid. After that particular fight, Fennel was much more careful with her words and actions, wanting to slowly ease her way more and more into Juniper's life. That plan worked as they eventually became lovers, but for that to affect Fennel made Juniper feel regretful. She never did anything wrong, just spent time with a man that Juniper did consider to be a rival. It was childish, and more importantly, Colress was the good guy in the situation.

Colress was the good guy. _Again._ Juniper shuddered, ignoring that smug, pompous ass as she continued thinking. Well, all the other Valentine's Days sucked, but this one wouldn't. She had two meddlesome boys at her disposal, ready to follow their father's orders or else risk Daddy's wrath. Yes, this was a brilliant plan. With a sinister grin on her face, Juniper placed a hand on Colress's shoulder. "Colress, get your brother out of his pajamas. Dad's taking you out on a field trip.

* * *

"I'll kill you."

Juniper cursed as the blond threw a tub of chocolate ice cream on top of her. This was quite possibly the stupidest idea she had ever come up with in all her years as a professor. She understood that flowers and balloons were popular on the romantic holiday, but for Colress and Sycamore to wheel her around in just her bra and boxers in a shopping cart at the supermarket was absolutely ridiculous. Her wrists were sore from the balloon strings tied around her, and her legs ached from dangling so long, and people were staring at her because she was _practically naked in a shopping cart._ How did she ever think this was a good idea?

Colress called it apologizing. Sycamore called it romantic. But Juniper couldn't call it either of these things right now as her cheeks burned with several angry emotions. They'd been in the large supermarket for over an hour now, searching aisle after aisle for her dark-haired beauty, but Fennel had yet to be found. Lovely, just lovely. And her disposable boys were just having the time of their lives, stocking up on every sweet thing they could find. Sycamore's eyes tinkled with an intensity that made Juniper feel like she wanted to pull his eyes out of their sockets. "Dad's field trips are much better than the ones I had at school!" he exclaimed, giddy. "No screaming teachers to get off the planet model. No nasty scrapes or bruises or diseases, either."

"Yeah, Dad's so cool. Hey, Augie, maybe she'll let us get those trading cards after all."

"You know I'm not getting you guys anything, right?"

"Ahaha, oh, Daaad…"

They rounded the corner. Right by the milk products was Fennel, examining two different yogurt flavors. Juniper still felt slightly miffed, but most of her anger faded away as she locked eyes with her lover. The doctor looked confused, then ecstatic, then more confused, and as her eyes finally drifted down to Juniper's bare skin, she was overwhelmed with joy. She nearly crashed her cart into a candy display as she towered over Juniper's shopping cart, laughing. "Ahaha, Aurea, what are you doing here?" she asked.

Juniper grinned. "Uh, just being your valentine. I hope you like it, and if so maybe we can go out later tonight."

"She's only the finest product," Sycamore added. "Like the finest Swiss chocolate Gogoat help make in the mountaintops. Mother, do us the favor of taking our magnifique father off our hands."

"And make her buy us stuff."

"Ohhh, Junicup, you have the flowers and balloons and everything. Of course we can be valentines! Here, let me join you."

Fennel was about to leap into the shopping cart, but her weight and Juniper's was too much for the cart to handle. It squeaked and slipped forward, sending Fennel flying into the candy display, large swirlies quickly replacing her eyes. The cart rolled for a few more seconds before tipping over, smacking Juniper against the freezer. Of course it had to be the freezer. Goosebumps lined up and down her body, complimenting all the hairs that stood upright. Swirlies also replaced her eyes, but a visible anger mark popped up by her face, signalling for Colress and Sycamore to do more than just stand there and stare at them. The two men understood, lifting each woman into her shopping cart.

Several apologies later the group was in the park, the ladies still in the shopping carts, a fair exchange for one hundred dollars and the promise to not post any of Juniper's semi-nude photos on the Internet. That exchange also included a couple of towels, which Juniper gratefully accepted. One measly labcoat wasn't warm enough in this freezing February weather. Snuggling against the towels, she turned her head to the side, staring at the shopping cart where Fennel was. The woman kept yawning, regretting that she woke up early just to buy soup and ice cream but pleased that her cousin was giving her a free ride like a baby in a stroller. Also turning her head, she gave a small smile to Juniper. "Honey, I might have to take a nap when we get home," she admitted, yawning again. The way she kept rubbing her eyes made the brunette wonder if she'd even make it awake until they got home. It was doubtful. "What do you want to do when I get up?"

Juniper could hear Colress above her, so calm yet so smug. "If I may suggest something, Ed, there's a couples' only demolition derby tonight. You two can go, and Augustine and I can join you. I'll even pay for our tickets. How does that sound?"

"That sounds terrific. Huaaaa. What do you think, Aurea?"

Juniper wanted so desperately to say no. They only had a few more days together before she returned to Nuvema, and it was their first true Valentine's Day as a couple. There was no reason why they should be forced to spend another waking moment with the men. Those two could stay at the apartment on their own and do whatever things oddball men like them did. But she knew a demolition derby was an event that was right up Fennel's alley. She enjoyed things being destroyed almost as much as she enjoyed them being created.

Besides, she still could take advantage of her darling boys for anything they had, especially Colress. He may have been right many more times than she anticipated, but she refused to lose Fennel's heart to him. A father's love and affection was much healthier for the doctor than some child's love and affection and estranged parent money. Yawning herself, Juniper nodded once, staring at the sky. It was sunny. "Sure, it's fine. As long as the kids don't disturb naptime when we get home. Daddy wants to spoon with you for a few hours…"

* * *

 _(Original notes: "Juniper's investment in the family complex is 5000 percent intense. ")_

 _Originally written on February 14th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Original comments still suit this chapter well._


	7. Chapter 7

_moving forward_

Fennel stirred the meatloaf around in the plastic tray. Beside her Musharna floated back and forth, trying to cheer up its trainer, who had been like this for a couple of days now. Little sleep, little conversation, meals spent so quiet and listless. These were all the signs of a foul mood. Usually this would be associated with a bad performance in work or an argument with one of her friends, but the doctor had a relatively good week. The papers were written, the relationships were stable, and the ice cream in the fridge didn't have freezerburn. It was just…

Look at that, the meatloaf was so soggy. Fennel's cheeks puffed in annoyance as she stopped stirring, realizing that she probably had placed her meal in the microwave for longer than she should have again. She forced that poor Mr. Meatloaf to transform from a frozen piece of meat to a depressing piece of disaster. It wasn't fair to take out her frustration on Mr. Meatloaf; it wasn't fair to take out her frustration on anybody. Frustration tasted bad. Lamenting over her fallen dinner for a few more seconds, Fennel saluted it before throwing it in the trash. One day, she vowed, she would move forward past this problem, if only for all the soggy dinners she had destroyed.

Soon the Xtransceiver rang. Fennel meant to ignore it, but Musharna held it in its mouth, nudging the doctor with the pointy part until she accepted it. On the other end was Juniper, looking concerned yet distracted, holding a clipboard in her free hand as she yelled a few words at one of her assistants. "Bianca, no! Only the Snivy like the eggplant! Don't let the Oshawott get to it. They'll just throw it everywhere…you did? Get a mop and bucket, then. We'll be up all night again." The other end was like this for a few more minutes. Fennel watched Juniper's bubbly assistant, Bianca, fall over herself twice as she tried cleaning up the Oshawotts' mess. It was slightly amusing, but the doctor remained serious until her girlfriend got back on the line, now looking sheepish. "Sorry. Dinnertime at my castle. Not all the subjects favor tonight's selection."

"I see this."

"What's wrong, Ed? You haven't been answering my calls. I talked to Amanita earlier, and she said you might be a little down-"

"No worries, Aurea. I'm fine," Fennel cut in, biting her lip. She wanted to tell Juniper about her problem, but she knew the professor just laugh at her. It was indeed comical, from a bystander's point-of-view, yet this little, comical problem was a problem, at least in Fennel's eyes. How could Amanita be better at playing Frogger than her? That little froggy always wanted to run itself into semis for her, but for her sister that creature was all too happy to safely cross to the other side. It wasn't fair. Sighing, Fennel patted the screen where Juniper's forehead was. "I don't want to keep you on the phone for long. You look busy. I'll talk to you when I'm in a better mood."

"Are you sure, hon? I can stay with you for a few minutes. It's not any trouble for me."

"No, no, that's okay. I need some time to think. I love you, Junicup."

"Huhhh…I love you, too, Edith."

They kissed, then hung up on each end. Fennel gave the Xtransceiver to Musharna, who took it back to its rightful spot. The doctor leaned forward and grabbed her video game controller, admiring every button that was on its awkward figure. Maybe if she practiced for a few extra hours, she'd be strong enough to challenge Amanita to a rematch. Faster time receives the cookie jar for the week. Yes, this was a brilliant plan, perfectly brilliant. It wasn't like she was neglecting her work or her relationship or anything. That familiar glint of hope came rushing back to her eyes as she turned on the television. Soon enough she'd reclaim her title as the best gamer of the Fennel family.

* * *

 _(Original notes: Fennel is the Rigby of video games, except Tetris. She can do Tetris.)_

 _Originally written February 20th, 2016 on tumblr for femslash february. Not much to it. Heartwarming gays, ye._


	8. Chapter 8

_morning_

Juniper stared up at the ceiling, counting each pink and purple flower that streaked across the paint. She was an early riser, unlike Fennel who hugged her pillow in drooling bliss. The doctor preferred exploring the world of dreams in the morning over waking up to the unkind dullness of the real world. That was fine, as long as she woke up eventually, which she always did. But it was rather lonely to lie in the silence, not having anything to do or anyone to talk to or share the hunger pains with so early in the morning. It almost felt like her home in Nuvema, where she always woke up on her own, but it wasn't Fennel's fault. If she could sleep just a little bit longer, she would take that opportunity as well.

But as this was not the case, Juniper decided to get up from bed. Slipping on a bathrobe, she waltzed down the spiral staircase and over to the kitchen. Fennel's kitchen was fairly bare and clean, typical of one who ordered takeout most days of the week. There wasn't much logic in doing a lot of grocery shopping when the doctor ruined just about everything she tried to cook. Juniper mentally cursed herself for not at least picking up a box of pancake mix on her way to her girlfriend's. Most of the things that were left around were unappetizing. One batch of moldy bananas. One half-eaten cup of yogurt that appeared to have a broccoli stalk in it. Soggy trays of burnt meatloaf. One box of a Captain Crunch knockoff cereal.

Limited with her options, Juniper poured herself a bowl of Duke Crunchem and sat in front of the television. So this was the behavior of a typical urban teenager in the morning. It was uncomfortable. She was used to keeping busy during breakfast with research or pokemon or people, and all she could do right now was enjoy her cereal and an episode of Seinfeld. Attempting relaxation was so hard.

An hour passed, then two. Juniper was already draining the remains of her cereal bowl into the sink when she noticed Fennel leaning in the doorway. From the looks of it, the doctor had just woken up from her slumber. Her glasses were crooked on her face and her labcoat was draped sloppily over her lacy bra and underwear, and there were bags under her eyes. Juniper resisted her snickers, knowing how hard it was for her girlfriend to get up regardless of time, instead resuming her cleaning of the cereal bowl. "Morning, Ed."

"Hmmm, morning, Aurea. Did you make pancakes?"

"No didn't have any pancake mix, sorry. There's still some leftover cereal in the pantry, though."

"Hmmm, no, I think I'll eat that yogurt I saved. I really need to remember to buy pancake mix, for Reshiram's sake!"

Fennel grabbed the yogurt from the fridge and slammed the door, beginning to eat without another word. Juniper placed the cereal bowl onto the drying rack and walked over to her girlfriend, grabbing her from behind as she squeezed her waist. All that takeout wasn't good for the doctor's figure; she was beginning to grow chubby around the edges. Ignoring all of her complaints, Juniper rested her chin against Fennel's head. "I'm sorry, hon. I can get dressed real quick and go to the store and get some pancake mix. It's no trouble."

"No, no, you're supposed to be a guest. Ugh, this yogurt is really icky. Why does Colress have to put broccoli in everything?"

She tossed the yogurt container into the trash can, wrinkling her nose. Juniper only held her tighter. Why _was_ that wretched blond rival of hers so obsessed with broccoli? The couple kept quiet for a few more minutes, wondering which one of them would suggest going to the diner and ordering pancakes first. Eating almost nothing but greasy meals wasn't very good for the health, but it was better than eating whatever abominations Fennel kept in the kitchen, and Juniper did not mind paying the price of a few pimples for both of their happiness.

* * *

 _(Original notes: Fennel likes pancakes.)_

 _Originally written February 23rd, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Fennel still enjoys pancakes._


	9. Chapter 9

_late_

Fennel moved the toothbrush up and down her teeth, tasting that horrid minty fluoride flavor on her tongue. She wasn't usually in the habit of brushing her teeth before bed, but Juniper worried so much over the possibility of cavities that the doctor couldn't just deny her insistent request. It wasn't often that she played the role of guest, anyway, so the least she could do was play along and please her girlfriend. But the taste of the toothpaste was so much worse than any kind of broccoli dish that Colress made. No wonder dentists made so much money.

When she was finished, she spat out the toothpaste and backwash into the sink and cleaned up her mess. Then bending over the trash can, she began flossing. The minty string tasted just as bad as the toothpaste, but it was even worse since Fennel had to get every nook and cranny by placing her fingers in her mouth. Already a wicked little voice in her head was telling her to forget the hygiene and stuff a doughnut in her mouth, but she refused to misbehave. Hygiene was only a small price to pay for Juniper's love and affection.

After resisting her temptations, Fennel finally entered the bedroom. On the bed was Juniper, scrolling through what looked like fossil research on her laptop. She looked so adorable in her oversized t-shirt and striped boxers. Fennel sat next to her on the edge of the bed and peered over the brunette's shoulder, hoping the research wouldn't be an all-nighter like it sometimes did. She wanted to spend some time with that firm tush of Juniper's. "Junicup, I made sure I brushed and flossed tonight." Pulling her lip down, she showed off the clean set of teeth. No chocolate doughnuts for her tonight. "See? If I kiss you, I won't have to brush again, will I?"

"No, I don't think so. No late-night snacking, though. Last time you did that, you got popcorn all over the bed."

Juniper clicked her tongue, shooting a fake glare to Fennel, who stuck her tongue out in response. No, if the doctor did any kind of late-night snacking, she would have to brush her teeth again, and that would be dreadful. Pouting, she crossed her arms and rolled her whole self into the bed, placing her head against the pillows. "I won't, Aurea. Just don't stay up all night with the fossils. If I can't taste you tonight, I'll have no choice but to break into the snacks."

"Shouldn't be too much longer. I was just waiting for Professor Elm to send me his findings. He took another expedition to the Ruins of Alph and might've found something. Might be groundbreaking."

"Okay. I'm gonna just lay here, then. Love you, Aurea."

"Love you, too."

Fennel pulled the blankets over her and stared up at the ceiling, content yet dissatisfied. Juniper's ceiling was pretty drab compared to her own floral tastes…

* * *

 _(Original notes: n/a)_

 _Originally written on February 24th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. Fixed some spelling errors two years later._


	10. Chapter 10

_sacrifice_

For the first time in a month, Juniper finally slept at a relatively early time. With Bianca's help the two managed to finish their lab preparations at the end of the week with time to spare. Before there was not much time to worry about anything not related to the preparations, since the preparations were of the utmost importance to the shipment of starter pokemon. If anything did not adhere to the strict protocol, the pokemon would not be shipped to the Nuvema lab, which would hurt starting trainers in the end. So Juniper and Bianca had spent the week tying loose odds and ends to make sure their current residents were happy and their future residents were safe. It had been a long and tiring process, but they finally finished around eight p.m., praise Reshiram, and so they could claim their rewards of peaceful sleep.

There was never much commotion in Nuvema Town, so Juniper didn't have to worry much about her sleep being disturbed. Tonight the bed was her mistress, and the brunette didn't bother to hide her excitement as she rolled back and forth across the sheets with drool over her mouth and chin. She always wondered how Fennel could sleep so well at night without a care in the world, but now she knew. It was embarrassing yet satisfying, a feeling that could only be shared by the bed, but the dirty secret was worth it.

It was probably around the middle of the night when Juniper felt herself floating between consciousness and slumber. She was sliding along smooth surfaces like an Ekans, vaguely feeling uncomfortable up and and down her body, yet for some reason she didn't want to wake up in the world of the living. There was an ominous cloud weighing in the back of her mind, pleading with her to stay asleep for as long as she could. She didn't mind doing that, but there was an urgency in that voice that made her uneasy. Maybe that built-up stress was killing her at long last. She just hoped Bianca wouldn't freak too much.

" _-riiieee!_ "

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The gunshots were enough to startle Juniper awake. It was likely that she had been dragged earlier from her sore figure, but now she was being carried (with quite a struggle, she admitted), across the pavement to a ratty pickup truck. When she noticed that the shooter was none other than her father, Cedric, she came to the sudden realization that she was getting kidnapped. Someone's wrong buttons were pushed and decided to take advantage of her in just her sports bra and boxers, but she couldn't do much since she was still half-asleep. Damn her exhaustion.

And so in the truck she went. As the truck raced off in the night, Juniper bumped her head twice against the dashboard before she began to wonder about the situation. From what she saw in kidnapping and ransom movies, usually the kidnappers were much more aggressive. They'd tie up their victims or point deadly weapons at their temples, but there was no violence aside from her father's shotgun. She was also sure that kidnappers did not listen to bubbly 80's pop in their raggedy trucks, and that led her to the conclusion that it was very likely that this was not a kidnapping at all. Slowly turning her head, she saw Colress humming along to the tune, and a giant anger vein popped by her head. "YOU!"

"Yes, me. While I don't usually mind trading insults with you, Professor, tonight is definitely not the night to do i-"

"Let me out. Right. Now. _Edward._ "

Colress had the nerve to roll his eyes as he shook his head. This didn't make him stop the car, but he turned down the radio and sighed, looking annoyed. "I can't," he insisted. "It's not like I could've just knocked on the front door and politely ask you to come with me. We both know that you would've slammed the door in my face, and it would've just wasted time. As matters are currently, I barely have time to explain things now. We have to be in a hurry, and besides, the ladies in the back get cranky unless Air Supply is on."

"Ladies?"

Juniper turned her head to find that two ladies in pale dresses were indeed squashed in the backseat, staring back at her with dull, disinterested eyes. She was stunned for a moment before regaining her anger. "Is that Anthea and Concordia? Colress, what the hell is going on?! If you expect me to go along with whatever bullshit scheme you're planning-"

"But you will, Professor, for Ghetsis is back on the prowl, and our dearest Edith is directly in the crossfire."

Turning up the radio just enough so the sisters remained quiet, the man began to explain. After the events involving Kyurem, Ghetsis had cracked more than a Humpty Dumpty, and he was only kept away from prison or a mental ward thanks to his Shadow Triad and Zinzolin. Most of his remaining followers believed that it was only a matter of time before he did himself in, but one year later the Harmonia man was still stronger than anyone had realized, and he craved vengeance from anybody who tried to meddle with his plans. In the past few weeks, he left a pretty obvious trail of blood and bones belonging to several pokemon, but recently he began his quest for human meat.

This was where Fennel came into the picture. According to several sources, Ghetsis was bloodthirsty, and already he had single-handedly caused injuries to a few people. One little boy that had the miserable luck of bumping into the man was currently hospitalized in Nimbasa with a broken leg and three broken ribs. Colress's close trainer friend, Mei, barely escaped Ghetsis's wrath with the help of her Unfezant, but her rival, Hugh, received two large scars on the back from a machete. Last week they were the ones who warned him that he might be next, and so the scientist employed Anthea and Concordia to be his bodyguards, knowing that they were some of the only ones that could face Ghetsis and live. Little did he know, however, he was not the target.

"I was going up the elevator to see Fennel, since it was Movie Night," Colress began to finish, grimacing, "but when I reached the floor, there was Amanita, hysterical, held by one of the neighbors. It had already happened. Luckily Arti was there, too, and he managed to get some intel from a straggling Team Plasma grunt. Ghetsis had taken her as…as live bait, and he's also taken my baby back, the Plasma Frigate." He paused, sighing, and Juniper was taken back by the despondent look in his eyes. "You can hate me all you want, Professor, but I can't do this alone. Edith needs both of us. I'm very willing to take on the stronger members, but I will need some backup. That's where my Charlie's Angels come in. The girls'll probably listen to you better, anyway. And Aurea, when you find Edith…leave. Don't wait for me."

The ominous cloud came back to Juniper's mind. They were close to the docks where the Plasma Frigate was, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something odd with Colress's words. "Hey, Colress, you're making this sound like a life or death mission," she joked, raising an eyebrow. "It's not like you're sacrificing yourself, right?"

But there was no merriment in his voice as he answered, winking, "I'm honored that I failed as a rival to you. Make sure we get the job done."

* * *

 _(Original notes: more rambling)_

 _Originally written February 27th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. This was the first of a two-parter. Hmmm, I made Colress look pretty cool. He and Juniper never getting along only adds to the scientificshipping aesthetic because they have to share Fennel, rip._


	11. Chapter 11

_at last_

 _(Original notes: Notes about how Anthea and Concordia don't like Colress. They don't really like many people, but they really don't like Colress.)_

 _Originally written on February 28th, 2014 on tumblr for femslash february. VIewer discretion advised. I still don't know how I came up with that scene (you'll see). Mind-baffling. But I do like this chapter a lot, looking back._

* * *

They were inside the Plasma Frigate. The ship wasn't nearly as occupied as it was under Colress's control, but it was still filled with menacing Team Plasma members, most of whom were sleeping. The few members that were awake so far at this late hour wisely stepped aside so Juniper and the goddess sisters could pass. Most even kept quiet upon their appearance, although a few made a few harassing remarks regarding the professor's lack of clothes, along with some very profane gestures.

Even without the grunts' comments, however, Juniper never felt so humiliated and helpless as she did trying to save her girlfriend. She ran between Anthea and Concordia, but they were less cute and friendly than everyone else made them out to be. When the group parted ways with Colress, who went on ahead to take down the strongest of Team Plasma, the goddess sisters made it very clear that the professor was only a hindrance in the mission. Anthea was a skilled karate master, while Concordia excelled in swordsmanship, and neither depended on pokemon to fight their battles for them. What skills did a smart, big-haired professor like she have? Well, maybe she had more skills than Colress, but they were still too mediocre to use in actual combat.

So she tagged along in silence, the only sounds being the off-key humming of Air Supply songs. This sappiness made Juniper not only feel concerned for Fennel but for Colress as well. The guy was a jerk and a menace, but he was no fighter by any means. It was pretty amazing that Ghetsis hadn't torn him limb from limb yet. But he was Fennel's friend, too, so wouldn't she be just as devastated if the limb-tearing did happen? Good intentions or not, attempting to sacrificing himself was probably one of the stupider things Colress had done.

But Juniper didn't want to get sappy over Colress. The map leading to the dungeon area where Fennel was likely to be indicated that they still had a few minutes before reaching their destination, so she wanted to break the ice somehow. After all, they were supposed to be teammates.

"So..you ladies like Air Supply, huh? I think my dad liked Air Supply when he was a little younger than you guys. He was also in love with Stevie Nicks. Had them both on vinyl."

"Your father's obviously lost in love, then," Anthea replied.

"We should've brought your father along instead of you," Concordia chimed in.

"Yes, I don't mind Stevie Nicks, either. She is a wonderful woman."

" _She is like a cat in the dark, and then she is the darkness._ "

"Your father should've named you Rhiannon, Professor."

"Yes, it might've suited you better."

"He…He wanted to."

Juniper kept quiet after this, too haunted by Cedric's taste to further embarrass herself in front of the girls. If it wasn't for her dear mother, Reshiram bless her soul, she might've been named after a Welsh goddess. Not that it wasn't bad of a name, but it would've been much more difficult introducing herself to her snotty male colleagues. For now she would let the sisters' veiled insults slide past her, now preferring the off-key humming to any awkward conversation they could have.

They soon reached the dungeon area, where they encountered two angry-looking grunts in typical uniform. The sisters wasted no time disabling their opponents. Grabbing one grunt's wrist, Anthea threw the man across a pile of filled trash bags, cracking his mask in two. The other grunt, who blocked the opposite hallway, drew her pair of nunchucks first, but Concordia plunged her sword just inches above the guard's head so the woman would move anywhere else. It worked, and the female grunt dashed forward, aiming for Concordia's wrists.

This left an opening for Juniper. She ran past the commotion into the hallway, where the cells were lined up on either side of her. Most of the cells were empty, but one contained a long-haired, snoozing beauty sprawled out on the floor. Just as expected of Fennel. Creeping up to the door, Juniper pulled on the steel handle, which instantly opened the door. Either Team Plasma had the worst security ever or it was all a trap, but the professor had no time to weigh these options. She bent down and shook Fennel's shoulders until the doctor sat lopsided, looking groggy. "Junicup?"

"Rise and shine, sunshine. We gotta go."

"Oh, Aurea…I didn't think you'd come dressed like this, too. It's very erotic."

When Fennel stepped out of the cell, Juniper noticed that her girlfriend was also in just her bra and underwear (which made Colress's earlier claim about Movie Night sound completely perverted). In any other situation, it would indeed be somewhat erotic. Fennel's breasts covered in that octopus-printed bra did wonders to her figure, and those panties only covered maybe half of her bouncing rear end. But Juniper had to ignore her growing arousal, for there were more pressing matters at hand. "Edith, where are your glasses?"

"Oh, damn, that one old guy stomped on them with his feet. Can't see much clearly besides your luscious hair, sorry." Fennel squinted her eyes for further emphasis, then threw her hands in the air in frustration. Well, this was a definite wrench in the breakout plans. The map wouldn't be much help for a defenseless professor and her practically blind girlfriend against a ship filled with enemies. She looked so sexy yet so useless as she already bumped into one of the walls. "Don't worry about me, though. I'll follow your lead. How'd you find me, anyway?"

"Uh, Colress kinda tipped me off."

"Oh! We were supposed to have Movie Night tonight. I completely forgot. Is he with you?"

"He's somewhere. We gotta go, though."

Two red lights by the cell began to buzz and flash, alerting the injured grunts from earlier to run to the women's location. Something was horribly wrong. Two more grunts were behind the first, and Anthea and Concordia were nowhere in sight. Not wanting to see what the unfriendly people wanted, Juniper grabbed Fennel's wrist and began running. They were clearly outnumbered and at a disadvantage, with no pokemon and no clear grasp of their surroundings. The only thing they had on their side was speed, which allowed them to run through two hallways until they were surrounded by five grunts with guns. Speed be damned.

So several minutes later, Juniper and Fennel were shoved in a large room filled with most, if not all, of the remaining Team Plasma members, who were now all awake and menacing. Many hooted, jeered, and booed at them as the walked along a lavender carpet, demanding that they kiss or fight on the carpet's surface. A few even threw single bills at their feet, taunting them to strip even further. Fennel seemed embarrassed, but Juniper was angered. Once Team Plasma scum, always Team Plasma scum, These people were worse than pokemon.

They were pushed behind a gate, where a glowering Anthea and Concordia stood by a giant security man and a glaring Zinzolin. Both weren't too pleased upon seeing Juniper, but they did take delight in poking at Fennel's breasts. While Fennel didn't seem too mad, Juniper was a little peeved at everybody wanting to touch her girlfriend's boobs. Those dirty pillows were supposed to only be touched by her and certainly not be a pair of outsiders, especially in this situation. It was insulting.

Several more minutes passed. Then as almost by cue, the entire room erupted in applause as Ghetsis strolled in his classic purple robes, dragging along a half-conscious Colress across the floor behind him. The blond's glasses were broken, his cashmere sweater was soaked in blood, and his left arm was obviously dislocated from its socket, most likely also broken. Nope, he hadn't been torn limb from limb, but he was damn to close to it. As Ghetsis made his way to the middle of the floor, smiling, he yanked Colress by the neck and lifted him inches from the floor. The room fell quiet, wondering what the psychotic lord and master would do to the fallen. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began in almost a whisper, drawing in a long breath, raising the dramatic stakes, "as you might be fully aware, many have lost faith in me this past year. Loyal servants and doctors wanted to write me off as insane. Policemen, pursuers of justice, self- righteous people wanted to lock me away. They wanted to play the heroes and proclaim themselves as gods.

"But. I. AM. _GOD._ I am the only one that has proven to create a new being, the fusion of the dragons! I am the only one to save three wretched, ugly beings from painful poverty and rejection, though they have since betrayed the favor! Previously I have been so generous with follower and foe alike, but where has this generosity ended up with the  
stray? Dishonesty! Disloyalty! Filthy, self-righteous, arrogant scumbags like _this-_ " He shook Colress once. "-and self- imposing heroes like _them-_ " He nodded his head over to the gate where Juniper and company stood. "-meddling and trying to break free from punishment when punishment is due!

"But no more. As a god I must purge the imperfections from this world. I was going to start off with the witch doctor, but I suppose it would be better if we started things off with our dearest former boss of Team Plasma. LADIES. GENTLEMEN. LET THE CEREMONY COMMENCE!"

Juniper and Fennel gasped at the same time as Ghetsis plunged his tongue into Colress's mouth. Even though his face was puffy, the blond also looked visibly disturbed, using his unbroken hand to claw at the older man's robes, but Ghetsis whacked the hand with one clean swat. He grinded against the scientist for a good couple of minutes, discarding the sweater to the floor and pinching the young man's nipples, caressing them with his massive palms. When Colress began to moan, however, Ghetsis dropped him to the floor and opened his robe just slightly enough to reveal a throbbing erection. At this point Fennel vomited all over her surroundings, and Juniper felt bile rising in her stomach as well. This was beyond disgusting. This was like one of the pornos they watched going bad.

 _How did Ghetsis have such a small penis?!_

Pre-cum dripped from the Harmonia man's penis as he towered over Colress's figure, sneering. Grunts began to jeer and hoot again, but they were kept quiet by the higher-ranking officials. He was in his ultimate glory, striking fear into even Juniper's heart as he basked in his own godly juices. "I want you to soak in my forgiveness before I kill you, little Edward," he said, running a shoe across the blond's face. "And then I will do the same for the rest of your ridiculous posse. But I will be generous with you one last time, for all of the service that you and your family have given me. What shall your last words be?"

Juniper felt Fennel squeeze her hand, and she squeezed it back. Neither wanted to show her tears, but they both knew this would be the end. Colress would be the sacrifice, and they would follow, having a psychotic man with an eyepatch violate them as their last actions. It was a shame. She always thought that she and Fennel would die as old ladies who met their demise researching while skydiving straight into a mountaintop. The tears began running down her face as she pulled Fennel close to her, not caring that Anthea and Concordia remained so emotionless or that there was a faint humming sound that grew louder by the second. All she waited for was the stupid last remarks that Colress made. He seemed like one of those people who would even screw up his last words just to sound like a jerk. Finally he was going to speak, his head raised just enough so people could read the whisper on his lips. "You picked the wrong guy to call Edward," he breathed. "My name…is Colress."

He began laughing, and when Ghetsis snatched him up from the floor again, there was that annoying, cocky look on his face, like he did nothing wrong. Wagging a finger in Ghetsis's face, Colress grinned. "You don't think I'm that stupid to let my angels die, do you? Former Bossman, I'd like you to meet my plan B guy. GO, GENESECT!"

 _BOOM!_

One moment there wasn't a giant hole in two of the four walls, the next moment there was. Juniper was speechless as she and Fennel were picked up by a fairly large pokemon with a cannon on its back. Juniper was speechless and she and Fennel were picked up by a fairly large pokemon with a cannon on its back. It knocked out the gate guard, allowing the goddess sisters to redraw their powers and disarm Zinzolin, and it knocked out Ghetsis with a mighty blast of either fire or electricity. Juniper almost wanted to finish Colress off herself just to stop him from smirking, realizing that all of this was part of his so-called escape plan, but the Genesect growled loud enough to wipe that stupid smirk from his face. Looked like his plan B guy wasn't too fond of him, either.

So making their escape, the group fled from the room filled with bewildered Team Plasma members. The Genesect seemed to have no trouble carrying three people as it stomped its way to the upper docks, firing smaller blasts every few seconds. At this rate the Plasma Frigate would sink looking like Swiss cheese, but as long as they all made it out  
alive, Juniper didn't care. She just couldn't fathom how everyone else could be so cheery. The goddess sisters resumed humming Air Supply, Colress joined them in their tune, and Fennel bobbed her head along to the so-called music.

But Fennel's hand never left hers, and all would be well now.

* * *

 _(Two months later…)_

Juniper grabbed the lacy parts of her dress for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She and Fennel were being recognized for some scientific research, and their reward was a dinner and a night out on a yacht with several guests of their choosing. It was nothing like being on the Plasma Frigate, which had sunk thanks to its massive holes and led to many more arrests by the Unovian police force. (She would've liked Ghetsis to have been more of them, but that crazy man was too good in eluding the police.) It was more like Juniper's dreams, or more accurately, her experience involving sliding across the pavement.

Since she was tipsy, the brunette actually giggled at the thought of Colress's half-assed attempt at kidnapping. That situation was long past them. They were back on the frienemy status, and he was somewhere at the salad bar, stocking up on all of the broccoli. But as long as Fennel was next to her, teasing her with seductive lovebites along the ear, she would tolerate him. She continued to giggle, causing Fennel to squeeze her from behind and raise an eyebrow. "What are you thinking about that's so funny, Aurea? "she asked.

"Our kids are so fucked up. We have a fucked up family."

She stole a glance to the yacht's insides. Colress kept trying to feed Genesect pieces of broccoli with a pair of tongs, using his prosthetic metal arm to avoid potential burns. Sycamore was absolutely smashed as he did handstands and made Burgh and Amanita burst into laughter. Cedric kept his shotgun under the table pointed at Colress, never letting the kidnapping mishap slide in an old- fashioned, fatherly style. Even Anthea and Concordia looked the slightest bit happy as they took small bites from a single piece of cake. Fennel could not deny Juniper's claim, only reassure it with a soft chuckle. "Yes. We're quite dysfunctional. Isn't it lovely?"

"Yeah. You wanna dance, Mom?"

"Always with my two left feet, Dad."

They smiled and began to dance in the middle of the floor. As they glided along, Juniper refused to look away from Fennel, using the moonlight as her guide and light to see her girlfriend's utmost brilliance. For this occasion she was wearing contacts, and she could see everything clearly again. Her blue and yellow octopus-printed dress was long and quirky, but it hugged her figure well, just like all of her other dresses. And her long hair that rustled in the wind was a turn-on yet not quite in an erotic way. As they began to lock lips under the moon, Juniper was glad that she and her sweet, motherly partner did not have to make love with Air Supply in the background. Finally, the night belonged to them. Finally, they could lead a happy life with such caring (though eccentric) friends. Finally, once again, they were together, bound by the temporary peace the yacht gave them and the soft music the yacht provided them.

" _At last…my love has come along…_ "

End


End file.
